fly, fly away

In the meantime, the former man-child-turned-adult has moved out on his own. Rather than moving to a new place nearby, he chose to move to North Carolina. I helped him move his stuff into a storage locker this past weekend. He has a job but no apartment yet, but he is working on that while staying with a friend.

I worry of course, what if things go wrong, what if he loses his job or his car breaks down, we’re too far away to help, etc. I am very good at worrying, and not very good at letting him fly on his own. There is so much I wish I could tell him, but he prefers to figure things out on his own. He needs better social skills, and I’m afraid he will be sheltered and without love.

I really hope this works well for him, but I hope this is not a bad omen. His first act as a North Carolinian was to lock his keys in the car.

day 59

Hover-in-law said to the dogs: “Kitty needs her space, but you doggies keep invading it.” He did not see the irony in this statement.

The end is near. The sale will close on or about March 1st, and they will get to move in about a week afterward. I will gladly help them move their stuff into the new house.

In return for the favor of staying here nearly 3 months, they will help us fix up the bathroom so we can show our house this summer. I suppose that is a fair trade, despite the trouble this experience has been for me.

I am positive that I am the one who’s being unreasonable. I have an unrealistic space bubble which is the size of a football field. I sometimes choose to not be good at socializing. I need lots of down time, more than most people. But when necessary, you suck it up for family, because they would do the same for me.

Except I would never ask unless the zombie apocalypse occurred.

day 32

Nothing good comes from discussing politics with family. The same is true with religion. Just avoid the conversation for another 6 weeks.

The in-laws talked to Mrs. Fish about if we were okay with staying here until March. This conversation happens weeks too late, but whatever. My wife told them as nicely as she could that we are both introverts who need quiet time to recharge and relax. He tries to accept that, but after a couple of days he goes back to being the helicopter brother-in-law. He hovers and tries too hard to make things okay in return for occupying my spot on the couch for 9 weeks.

Then there is the whole third-rail conversation we can’t have. I am so fucking pissed off at America right now, and the in-laws are part of the problem. They use social services, but they vote for people who will restrict or take those services away. They don’t have much money, but they vote for people who plan to redistribute wealth from the middle class to the wealthy. They have been on and off health insurance, and their kids have mental health issues, but they vote for people who will allow the insurance companies to take coverage away.

Then they ask me if everything is okay when I get home, and can’t understand why I hide in the bedroom for hours at a time.

day 18

The relatives are still in our house. They are not working with the landlord to make the rental house livable, so they remain here. They have put an offer on a house, and I can only hope for a short escrow period. Even so, they may be here until March. FML.

I miss my quiet time. I am staying up way past my normal bedtime because I enjoy time to think without the barrage of words. So. Many. Words. I have seen my wife’s eyes glaze over, and I’m sure I do the same thing, because I simply can’t listen for long, uninterrupted stretches of time. I thought Sunday’s football game would be a good distraction to fill the space, but he talked throughout the entire game, sometimes about the game but often not.

The goats, in the meantime, have found a nice cozy home to share with a few horses in a nearby barn. I don’t know how the horses feel about this; maybe they can relate to my situation.

vente’ing

Christianity is the Starbucks of religions. There are churches everywhere, the customers are arrogant and pretentious, they think they’re better than everyone else, and the product leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.

Note 1: Unfortunately, I’m too chickenshit to post this on my Facebook.

Note 2: with spell check, chickenshit becomes “chickens hit”. Oh well, the penis mightier…

Note 3: I own shares of Starbucks, but I am an atheist.

it’s all relative

We have had relatives and their goats staying with us since Christmas Day, as they have moved to Ohio from our old town in California. Yes, I said goats. They were supposed to move into a rental house that I had found them, but the house was unlivable. [Why would the owner offer the house for rent with problems that preclude a renter from turning on the water and living there? But that’s another story.] The result is that they will be staying with us for much longer than I anticipated, or until they can find a place to buy I guess.

The problem is that Mrs. Fish and I are very much introverted people, and we need quiet, alone time to recharge and face the next day. The relatives are not that way, and in particular they like to talk constantly. He loves to talk about people I don’t know and don’t care about, and issues I don’t care about discussing (because I disagree on most everything he believes in). This morning he was READING FACEBOOK MEMES TO ME!! Fucking hell, please just shut the trap for a few minutes and let me relax in my own house! It has been very stressful for me, and probably so for my wife as well.

It is nearly impossible to get a break from them to just be alone. I am using some of this precious time right now to shop for food (for them) and relax. At least my wife got to go to work today, although she is having a tough time because her back is injured. She is too stubborn to stop working for a while, and she is obsessed with making money we don’t need (until my daughter decides she needs to visit the hospital again, but that’s another story).

I had planned on taking a vacation day tomorrow, but I’m not going to. I would rather be at work and be around people who don’t talk to me as much.

refresh button

Sometimes you have to clean house, which is true with blogs as well. This site became bloated and stale, with almost 500 posts of sometimes meaningless drivel. There were also some things written which I don’t want to be public information anymore. Finally, I lost interest in writing, and people lost interest in reading.

I decided to start over with this site rather than delete it and find a new title. Lazy, I suppose, but I still like the symbolism of the daily struggle for me to survive. I have kept the old posts, just hidden them, and when I find something I like I will repost it for your entertainment or disgust.

As usual, this site will be about me, but there will be much less about other people. This will be a place to share things I don’t want to post under my real name. There will be some bipolar discussion, but probably more about photos, life, and people I used to love.