It’s the middle of the night again. I’m developing a pattern of going to bed relatively early, waking up for a few hours during the night, then going back to sleep in time for my alarm. Some nights I will sleep through with no problems, but sometimes not. I know I will be really tired tomorrow.
When this happens, I will try to go back to sleep, but my brain is too active to fall asleep quickly. As soon as my eyes open in the dark, I am thinking about a million things and listening to the increasingly disruptive music running through my head. I don’t think this is anxiety or hypomania, I think this is my normal ADD-brain on hyperdrive.
When I get up, I could sit in the dark and do nothing until I fall asleep again, but that seems so boring when I could be on the computer doomscrolling, or writing, or doing word searches, or designing a kitchen remodel. Sometimes I can’t concentrate on anything, and just relive old memories or think about weird shit.
This could be related to the time change; it really affects my sleep and fatigue level every time. It could also be a function of increasing my dosage on the Vraylar, but I didn’t really expect it to keep me up at night. Hopefully this is a temporary phase.