manic word dump

I wrote this in about two minutes last week when I wasn’t sleeping. I think this stream-of-consciousness rant sums up what was going on in my brain at the time. Thankfully, I’m feeling more calm now, and I’ve been sleeping all night for past three nights.

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I might be a little manic I don’t know why well maybe I do it’s because of fucking chemistry my brain is a mess I’m not wired right I listen to my doc I take my meds like a good patient but they make me even worse depression sucks but being manic sucks a little harder and not in a good way billy joel said too high or too low there ain’t no in between and that’s how I’m feeling this month get on the roller coaster riding the colossus spinning off to every extreme I was in this state once and tore apart all my computers just for fun now I am up all night reading blogs and doing word searches and disturbing the cats who wonder why the fuck I’m up every night one moment I’m asleep and then my eyelids open and my train of thought is like the japanese bullet train the shinkansen I think and there’s no going back to sleep now and it’s fucking exhausting so I have to wait for the offending drug to clear my system and then we’ll see if I get depressed again it’s the great circle of bipolar and what comes around goes around the block and down the freeway and out of town until one of these days when I crash