sleep problems

It’s the middle of the night again. I’m developing a pattern of going to bed relatively early, waking up for a few hours during the night, then going back to sleep in time for my alarm. Some nights I will sleep through with no problems, but sometimes not. I know I will be really tired tomorrow.

When this happens, I will try to go back to sleep, but my brain is too active to fall asleep quickly. As soon as my eyes open in the dark, I am thinking about a million things and listening to the increasingly disruptive music running through my head. I don’t think this is anxiety or hypomania, I think this is my normal ADD-brain on hyperdrive.

When I get up, I could sit in the dark and do nothing until I fall asleep again, but that seems so boring when I could be on the computer doomscrolling, or writing, or doing word searches, or designing a kitchen remodel. Sometimes I can’t concentrate on anything, and just relive old memories or think about weird shit.

This could be related to the time change; it really affects my sleep and fatigue level every time. It could also be a function of increasing my dosage on the Vraylar, but I didn’t really expect it to keep me up at night. Hopefully this is a temporary phase.

latuda update

I started taking Latuda at the end of November, then increased the dose in late December. At 40 mg, you just say “Latuda”. At 80 mg. when you’re manic and haven’t slept through the night in two weeks, you say “LA-TUUUUUUUU-DA!”

I talked to the psychiatrist yesterday. He couldn’t keep my appointment because he was sick, but he called me to discuss the medication. I told him of my manic symptoms, and he said it was a side effect of the medication. Yeah, I guess so. He suggested I drop back to the lower dose for a couple of weeks and call him back to see how it goes.

I didn’t tell him that I dropped down to the lower dose about five days ago, and I’m still having side effects, so I plan on dropping the dosage to zero in about 3 or 4 days. I can feel how the medication is still causing me problems. I have the choice what to do, and it just doesn’t feel right.

Basically for about 3 weeks now I have had elevated mood, racing brain activity, a lack of sleep, and increased blood pressure. I told the Dr. C that in addition to those side effects I was “twitchy”, meaning I couldn’t stop fidgeting and blinking my eyes and tapping my fingers (things that happen without Latuda but which were made much worse with it). He said that sounded like akathisia, and he hoped it would go away with the lower dosage. I don’t think it will stop until the drug is completely out of my system, because the twitchiness hasn’t slowed down at half dose.

And here I am in the middle of the night again. I slept five hours yesterday and three so far tonight, when normally I need eight or more hours. Good times.

manic wanna-be architect

I’ll preface this by saying I might be having a little manic episode, but it’s nothing to worry about, right? I’m not out of control or in any danger, I’m just riding the wave for a while. I’m mildly amused at my condition right now, but I hope I don’t have a crash in the next few days.

I haven’t slept a lot during the night for the past several days, yet I have fallen asleep at random times during the day and evening. My anxiety has been high due to work issues and problems with my daughter. I’ve had tension headaches which turned into a migraine on Thursday. I’m writing a lot, and trying to keep from posting it all. I went looking for a difficult word search, and ended up downloading and printing 40 different ones I need to stay off Fakebook and stay away from Amazon … or the car dealership.

Yesterday I got up at 7:30 on an off day, I was awake all day, and I went to bed at my typical 9:00 to 9:30. Then I woke up from dreaming at about 1:00 and couldn’t get back to sleep. It was not a weird dream, but I remembered it very clearly when I woke up. I was in a different house, and I was designing it in my dream, arranging rooms and hallways.

I was laying there, completely awake, and I decided to get up and capture my dream house on paper. So I got up, got my graph paper, a scale, and my mechanical pencil (because geeks have those items handy in the middle of the night), and started drawing my house.

My daughter (whose sleep schedule is often backwards) comes upstairs and asks why I’m up, so I explain to her. Then we talked for a while, but the whole time I’m thinking about my house. Finally she went back to bed, and I started drawing again.

I realize I’ve lost track of time when my wife gets up at 5:30. I explain to her that I might be a little manic, and I spent most of the night designing a house. She said, “That’s not bad. At least there aren’t computer parts all over.” [That’s another story to tell someday.]

Here is the final sketch I came up with during the night:

I didn’t finish obviously. I still need to do a lot of details, and I might put it in Autocad today and work on it this week. Or I might do it online in Sketchup, since I don’t have architecture blocks for my Autocad installation. In fact, I have no architectural anything, because I don’t know how to design houses. I’ll post something when it is done.